My latest focus on leading my 7 year old daughter named Jennavacia because she is already becoming more independent minded & rebellious like she bout to turn 17! On top of that, I also been having some friction lately with giving her redirection & discipline. Even more, she immediately questions my direction & becomes emotional & stubborn after being dealt the consequences of her bad choices. Because of all the above I have been doing the following to improve not only as a loving father but also passionate leader who will inspire, prepare, & coach her so she can live her life as a productive citizen with a great sense of integrity & character.
First off, I changed my mindset from thinking that she is challenging me or doesn’t care to seeing that she is a big girl who desires to know it all including the why & a higher power has gifted me the responsibility to show her. Moreover, I adjusted my approach to coaching her which I will go over next.
My approach to handling her opportunities is pretty deep. First off, I must always keep negative emotions out of my leadership. If I feel my emotions to start to rise, I will tell her in a loving tone that we will continue this in a little while. I then go get alone time to recompose. I first kneel before discussing her opportunity while I glaze & project love into her eyes from my humbling position. Secondly, I tell her what this talk is about. I then ask her for her side of the story & ask questions to get her to expand on any unclear points. At any point during our conservation, I will pause & ask her if she understands the word I just stated. If she doesn’t, I will think of how to break it down to her level of understanding. Finally, I asked her to tell me what she learned from our talk & how she will act differently with what she learned in the future. This has minimize the friction but it will always be a constant adjustment as I continue to learn & REconnect with her as a big girl.
My biggest points I learned is; to get out my head, focus on her, be in the moment with her, & think of my vision of her as an future adult. These talks are to figure out how she can improve, not to blame her. I must always continue to learn & improve myself to be a better father & leader. I wrote the down the following a while back & it touched me when i read & imagined the visual expression of what I wrote.
I know one day I will look down on her from above with admiration & aww because of how impactful & happy she has become from being kind to others, having the self-confidence to recognize & stick to her beliefs & goals, & being fearless in pursuing them.
My Fatherly Leader aka Miguel Portillo.